If you live in the city, it’s imperative that every once in a while, you get. out.
Based on the weekend that just transpired, this is the best way to do it:
1. Take a practically empty bus upstate. On the way, forget the mountainous scenery and take tons of pics of you and your friend. Listen to “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepson on repeat.
2. Arrive at your roommate’s family farm where friends are already making a bonfire. S’mores and beer and little brother shenanigans for hours. 3. Skip out on the horror movie. This place is haunted. 4. Skip out on running the next morning, instead enjoy a full breakfast spread outside by the water with pecolator coffee. 5. Head to the farmer’s market for produce, flowers, and fresh herbs to take home. 6. Antiques barn for framed prints and paintings. 7. Thrift. Spoils include $12 polka-dotted YSL heels (roomie) and $4 Joy of Cooking book. 8. Get the tour of the 1800s barn, imagine how incredible your roommate’s future wedding will be in here. Find a super old filing cabinet with checks and statements from 1926-1927. Instagram everything. 9. Eat. Eat. Eat. Be convinced that your first physical in 7 years/blood work Monday morning is moot. 10. Back at home, make the adjustment to real life as quick and painless as poss: Netflix night with the roommate.
“As I said, I’m reading War and Peace on my iPhone. But you can’t tell I’m reading War and Peace on my iPhone. When I take my kids to the park and they’re off playing while I’m reading War and Peace, I look like just some fatuous idiot reading his email”—